Icon Awards Performance

Last night I received the Icon Award from the Music Supervisors Guild, a sort of lifetime achievement thing (so I guess I’m about to perish) and since I was introduced by my friend and agent Richard Kraft, I dove into the vaults and resuscitated a special lyric I wrote about him many years ago (set to the tune of the glorious “Holiday For Strings” by David Rose). Here is a video of last night’s performance, along with the lyrics. Now, there are lots of in jokes for the Hollywood music scene 1) Gina Zimmitti is an orchestral contractor, 2)”humming” refers to how back in the day, the old-timers thought we young whippersnappers were only humming our scores into tape recorders, to be fully realized by men more learned then ourselves who we had locked away in a closet in the back of our studios, but the thing you really need to know is 3) GORFAINE/SCHWARTZ is a competing film composer’s agency, and a name that brought me to one my most infamous rhymes. All right, enough with the explanations. Enjoy! And thank you Richard!

“YES!”

WHEN A CONFLICT COMES MY WAY
I TELL MY AGENT WHAT TO SAY
“MY SCHEDULE WON’T PERMIT”
BUT STILL, IF IT SOUNDS LIKE A HIT
HE LAUGHS AT MY DURESS
THEN TURNS AROUND AND ALWAYS ANSWER “YES!”

THOUGH IT’S CLEAR I’M BLANK AND SPENT
HE’S THINKING OF HIS TEN PERCENT
SO THOUGH I’M ON MY KNEES
HE TURNS A DEAF EAR TO MY PLEAS
MY MARRIAGE IS A MESS
BUT STILL MY AGENT ALWAYS ANSWER “YES”

I COMPLAIN
THE SCHEDULE IS INANE
THE BLOOD HAS LEFT MY BRAIN
GINA ZIMMITTI THINKS WE’RE BOTH INSANE

AND BOY, SHE’S RIGHT
CAUSE I’VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT
HUMMING WITH ALL MY MIGHT
A SCORE THAT SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE ONE BEFORE

BUT AS I FINISH THE LAST CHORD
THE PREVIEW CARDS COME BACK “THEY’RE BORED!”
SO THEY POSTPONE THE SCORING
MAYBE THREE WEEKS, MAYBE FOUR
I LOOK UP FROM THE FLOOR
AND HEAR MY AGENT TELLING SOMEONE:
“YES, HE’S FREE!
AND BY THE WAY, I’VE RAISED HIS FEE”
OH GOD, I’VE BARELY TIME TO PEE
I GUESS THIS IS SUCCESS
“YES!”

HE’D RATHER HAVE ANAL WARTS
THEN LOSE A JOB TO GORFEIN-SCHWARTZ
HE’D RATHER BLOW A PIG
THAN SEE BRIAN TYLER GET A GIG
HE’D RATHER WEAR A DRESS
THEN LET ANOTHER AGENT ANSWER “YES!”

HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A DUNCE
CAUSE I CAN’T WRITE TWO SCORES AT ONCE
AND I WON’T WORK IN GROUPS
LIKE HANZY ZIMMER AND HIS TROOPS
I’M YELLIN’ S.O.S.
BUT STILL MY AGENT ALWAYS ANSWERS “YES!”

HOW SUBLIME
THAT NOW, AT OSCAR TIME
YOU CHOOSE TO SAY THAT I’M
AN ICON
RICHARD K. ASKED ”DOES IT PAY?”

I’M SURE HE’LL USE
THIS NIGHT TO PITCH AND SCHMOOZE
WITH ALL YOU SHOW BIZ JEWS
WHEN I SAY “I’LL RETIRE” IT LIGHTS HIS FIRE

SO, WHEN HIS BANK BOOK MAKES HIM FROWN
I GET AN ELFMAN HAND-ME-DOWN
I REALLY MUST CONFESS
HE WON’T IMPRESS WITH HIS FINESSE
HE DON’T KNOW MORE IS LESS
HE CAN’T SUPPRESS THE NEED TO JUST SAY “YES”
AND SO, AS LONG AS THERE’S A MOVIE SHOW
PRODUCED BY SOME DEFENSELESS SCHMO
I’LL NEVER CONVALESCE
“YES!”